Savannah, please pray for daddy

I haven't written in a couple weeks because I have been trying to sort out some feelings. When I first started this blog I knew I just wanted to help other grieving parents. But in many ways I just "dont know how". Kind of like the saying about the blind leading the blind. If that makes sense.
Since Savannah's death I have questioned so many things. One, being my purpose on this earth since losing a child. I am so unsure of what that is...
Since the last time I wrote my husband, Savannahs daddy, has been diagnosed with lymphoma.
We dont know very many details and we wont until after the biopsy on Sept. 29th.
The one thing I do know is I have to let it go, and keep it in Gods hands. We are praying for Gods will. We don't know what Gods will is, but we know its in his hands not ours. Its my prayer that God will allow Rolland to stick around here for a good long time or until he decides to take us all home at once.
Sorry Savannah, as much as I know you would enjoy seeing daddy and I know he would love to see you, I can't do this without him. So Savannah, please pray for daddy! And please forgive mommy for being so selfish and needing him here with me and the boys...

I can't wait to see her face again

Two years ago today we had a funeral for my daughter. I remember some family members wanted her casket closed and they became very angry and threatened to leave. Most times I would try to accomadate people so I dont upset them or hurt their feelings. But in this case I had to stand my ground. Shutting her casket was one of the hardest things a parent ever has to do ( a close second to telling the doctors you are ready for them to remove her life support). I never thought in a million years I would have to choose either. I pray any parent out there reading this never goes through that heartache.
My hope...... someday soon God will tell his son, "Go get my kids" and the rapture happens just that fast. To stand in God's presence with him holding Savannahs hand and she runs to me and her daddy and throws herself in our arms. Oh, what a day that will be.
Please keep "the hubby" in your prayers hes going through some serious medical testing, pray its nothing bad, Thanks!

Thank you Heather

Today is the 2nd Anniversary of my daughter Savannah's death. Man do I miss her chitter-chatter. Shes a talker and I'm sure shes found plenty of people in Heaven to catch up with.
I miss her sweet hugs and those quick pecks on the cheek when she would go somewhere or at bedtime. I remember as she got older I told her she didnt have to kiss me when taking off with her friends, thinking she might be embarrased in front of her friends. But that didnt stop her. She never left my side without a quick peck on the cheek.
Everyday I send hugs and kisses to Heaven, I pray she gets them ALL! I wish I could feel her arms around me again.
I even miss her sassing when she didnt get her way.
My friend Heather wrote in her blog about Savannah today, it touched my heart. Just when you think that not a soul understands what you are going through, God shows you different.
Parents please take the time for all those little extras, you never know when they might not be there.

Homesick

I'm sitting here listening to Homesick by Mercy Me. I'm trying to decide if this blog is just as much for me as other grieving parents. I'm so homesick for Heaven and having my family all reunited again with Savannah.
I was reading a blog about a mother with a very sick child. She had comments from others posted on her blog "against" some things she had shared. How awful for that mother. I sometimes wonder why some people dont go with the advice all mothers give them. If you don't have something nice to say, dont say it at all. I know for the most part people think they are just helping out. But did they pray about what they had to share?
I have worries of sharing my soul with other people. Do they all promise to walk in my shoes before commenting on my blogs. I pray so. All most greiving parents need is prayer not a fix.

What is she doing in Heaven?

Here I sit thinking of my dear daughter and what she must be doing in Heaven. Savannah was a lover of music and singing. She also loved babies and children. Is she up there rocking and siging to a baby or child?
In two days it will be 2 years since her "going home". For her I am sure it was a glorious day. For her father and I it has been a rough 2 years. Not a day goes by that we dont think of her and mourn our loss.
Through this blog I hope to be an encouragement to other grieving parents, but remember I will have my down days also. So if you are ready for a ride, here you go....

This is my first posting so please bare with me. This blog is in memory of my daughter Savannah who left us to be with Jesus and her siblings in Heaven. We have a website at savannahshope.weebly.com if anyone is interested.